What is happiness?

We live in a time when we are bombarded with the message that fame, money and owning ‘stuff’ will make us happy. Television, advertising and social media tell us that we must live fabulous glamorous lives, look a certain way and get lots of likes on Facebook in order to be okay. And most important, we must be “happy” all of the time or there is something badly wrong in our lives.

Just considering the number of very wealthy and feted celebrities that have ended up in rehab, divorce courts or caught up in some salacious scandal tells us that these aims alone do not deliver great results.

Human beings are actually pretty tough. But we have become so averse to negative emotions that we seek to banish them at all costs. We have been taught to fear and despise emotions such as sadness. But those emotions can be key for our survival. If something painful happens, it is normal to feel sad. When our rights are trampled, it is ok to feel angry. The appropriate and proportional experience and expression of negative emotions is healthy.

Happiness is of course the optimum goal. But what does that entail?

Philosophers and psychologists distinguish between two kinds of happiness: 

• Hedonic happiness is essentially pleasure-seeking. In the moment satisfaction gained from having or doing something – shopping, playing computer games, gambling. The gain is excitement or comfort.
• Eudaimonic happiness is a concept first proposed by Aristotle. It is focused on the concept of a good life and is in line with what Maslow termed self-actualisation or fulfilling the potential within us.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of hedonism but it is unlikely that a life purely focused on that buzzy pleasure-fest will be fulfilling. This is partly due to the effect of what had been termed the hedonic treadmill – we humans are remarkably adaptable and to get that pleasure buzz requires more and more of the stimulus over time. 

Like many things it’s about balance. After years of research, Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, developed a theoretical model of happiness that has five aspects: Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning and Accomplishments. So, the ‘feel good’ of positive emotion is only a part of the overall picture of wellbeing.

Happiness doesn’t have to be jumping for joy. It can be contentment, peace, a sense of being ok in the world. It’s the end result of living in line with values and skills. It can be a goal that is struggled for or it can be the organic result of a balanced, full life in which you are fully engaged and living your values.